I have been wondering lately will I really, truly know if I am choosing my next relationship from the same old stuff? Will I recognize a 'healthy' relationship. Perhaps I have been choosing from chemistry for so long I will be unable to recognize available, loving, kind, willing, emotionally intelligent, when they show up? And if I do manage to recognize it, will I believe it? And if I believe it, how freaked out am I gonna be that I got what I wanted?
As those thoughts come I wonder how many others think those kinds of thoughts, and I consider how many will think I'm totally loony for admitting I have those thoughts. After all why should I be 'freaked out' about getting what I want? I realize I haven't really trusted my choices and I think that lack of trust is related to the unconscious belief that I couldn't have all of what my heart desires.
I think I will know because there will be a comfort that develops I've not experienced in the past. I think that I am willing to be vulnerable and communicate my desires. I think that I am brave enough to make the choice that follows my true desires. I think I am making choices from a different place of knowing my desire vs a longing for something I have 'believed' I cannot have. I think I have learned true discernment. I think I am braver, and wiser, and calmer, and more in love with myself and the world than I have ever been, I think I am ready :-) Damn this getting wiser with age thing makes the aging pretty worth it :-)
Love, Love, Love ... All ya need is Love ... Thanks John :-)
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