I was thinking this morning about the last man I was in relationship with and how, in my opinion, he was willing to be 'challenged' by love that looked from the outside like a lot of hard work. And then I thought hmmm how does that mirror me?
I've been delving to the depths of 'why do I do this'. Why do I feel such sadness, why do I feel loneliness, why do I perpetuate that aloneness, why do I want to be loved so badly? What does this have to do with the paragraph above you ask? Well my next thought was that I have behaved from fear rather than love, a lot in my life. I have put up the 'anger' wall to 'fend off' the hurt that can come from living with an open heart.
Through my desire and intention to live my authentic self I have come to the place of knowing that 'Love' is a practice. Love is a state of being, not something we 'fall in' to or 'out of'. I am practicing loving me where I have often not loved me. I am practicing hearing my judgemental thoughts and replacing them with Love thoughts. It is a lot of paying attention to thoughts ... however it's starting to feel really, really worth it! The only way Love stays is when I let it stay, when I encourage it to stay, when I practice being Love.
I think that perhaps he is practicing staying with his Love, perhaps that is why I so enjoyed practicing Love with him!?
Let's take up the practice of coming back again and again to Love...first and foremost with Self! Practice with me?
Love, Lo
You ARE the woman for this job! Shine your Loving heart on and on and on... Bring it baby! Love you Loretta... moni
ReplyDeletePrecious Moni, thanks for always being a gift of Love in my life! Yup, this is mine to do ... yahoo!! ... Lo
ReplyDeleteLove.... Hmmmm... I've noticed that, since I've stopped 'looking for it', my life has been infinitely more peaceful and I'm kind of finding it everywhere. I've stopped feeling the need to find that 'special' love that will somehow magically make me feel complete (never really believed in that one anyway), and just enjoy feeling loving - with myself, my life, my friends, the kids I teach, the staff I work with... even people on the street! Love, in my estimation, is a state of being. Sure, it would be nice to find someone to be 'in love' with, but... I'm SO unwilling to compromise who I am in order to get it, that... who knows if it will ever happen? And... I'm revisiting past relationships and seeing how I rarely acted in a truly loving way in them - always worrying more about whether I was getting enough love than about what I could do to be more loving. (except for with my kids, that is - that's the unconditional kind you're always hearing about; unless you're a parent, and then you just know what I mean - hopefully).
ReplyDeleteAnyway... possibly more to come....
Fantastic topic, by the way, darlin'! :-)
Happy "Love Day" Ms Jubilea.
ReplyDeleteLove sharing thoughts and feelings with you on the subject of love and relationship ... glad you're joining me in the conversation!
Thanks for sharing your heart ... :-)